


Marauder's Night Out

by SonOfAMuggle



Series: Full Moon Mayhem [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Drugs, Humor, M/M, Marauders, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:55:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29469795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonOfAMuggle/pseuds/SonOfAMuggle
Summary: Sirius and Remus settle their bet. James will never trust either of them again and Peter just wants some chip.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Full Moon Mayhem [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1761544
Kudos: 18





	Marauder's Night Out

**Author's Note:**

> "He was banned from the hogshead twenty years ago and that barman has a long memory" Sirius OotP

"I don't know, Prongs" Sirius said as the four of them huddled in chilly spring air looking through the dirty glass window.

"Relax, they won't know we're students." James assured

"Not unless you tell them. Keep your voices down" said Remus

"Let's just go back and see what the house elves have to eat." Suggested Peter

"we're not going back now. Beside You're the one who wanted Fish and chips" said Sirius pulling his leather jacket around his neck.

"Well, you're the one who made us take muggle edibles." Wined peter

"I didn't hear any complaining at the time."

"Remus stop giggling."

"Everyone Shut up, we just got to act like we belong here" James pushed open the door to the HogsHead.

The bar had a distinctive unwelcoming atmosphere. The surly barman stood at the counter washing a filthy glass with an even dirtier rag. The bar was empty apart from a few shady figures at the other end of the room conversing in hushed tones. They strolled up to the counter with a conspicuously casual demeanor.

"Hello, we would like a round of whiskey." Said James who's cheery attitude had no place in the sullen room. All eyes turned to the young outcasts.

"And some food" added peter

". . .and some chips" amended James

The silent bartender only stared. wiping the same glass, unblinkingly. As the awkward moment stretched on Sirius laid a hand of galleons on the bar top. With a reluctant sigh the hairy bartender grabbed the coins and replaced them with four glasses. "Thank you very much" said James politely. Drinks in hand they wander to an abandoned corner. A row of window side booths Sirius and Remus sat on one side, James and Peter on the other. Behind the former sat a lone man nibbling at his plate he was so filth he blended into the surroundings.

"I think that went well," said James absently resting his elbow on the dusty table.

"What a cheery place" Peter said with sarcasm.

"Should have gone to the three broomsticks." Said James

"No way they would serve students on a weekday let alone whiskey." Sirius replied

"Rosmerta would. She's got a sweet spot for me." James retorted from the other side of the table.

"No way she'd go for a specked git like you."

"She always gives me a wink and me extra chips."

"You're probably confusing that with the stink eye." Sirius assured him.

"Where did you get the coins, Pads?" Asked Peter

"My dear uncle Tiberius slipped me the key to the family vault last Christmas. He must have known I'd be arse flat on the doorstep by spring." 

"You still staying at my place this summer? My mum keeps writing me, she's fixing up a whole room for you." James asked, sipping his whiskey. "Incidentally, do you prefer cotton or feather down?"

"Yes, and tell sweet Euphemia cotton is fine. I don't know how long I'll be able to keep pinching money. My dad said Godric's Hollow is where all the blood traitors go to wallow around with mudblood filth, So I reckon it's a lovely town."

"To Muggles' Wallow" James proudly toasted the pet name of his home town. Sirius and Peter obligingly clicked their glasses to his. "Moony?" James asked the sandy hair boy who was drawing with his finger one the dusty table.

"How is it possible for a giant squid to live in a freshwater lake?" Remus stated. The other three boys smirked

"Merlin, Moony I only gave you half a piece." Said Sirius throwing an arm over Remus's shoulder affectionately.

"He's got a point, tho" agreed Peter

"Oh, I gave him half too." said James

" —How does he even fit in the lake? —" Remus continued

"He tuck another piece when you two weren't looking" said Peter plainly

"—He can't be getting enough exercise, there’s not enough room. —"

"You know he can't resist chocolate." Said Peter

Remus held up his fingers and silently mouthed "four"

"Blimey, Remus, it was just supposed to calm you down before the moon tomorrow."

"Oh calms not quite the word I would use." Sirius felt a hand on his leg causing his heart to jump.

"How is he still conscious?" Asked James 

"Must be his furry genes. Who knows how it's going to affect him." Sirius replied

"Do you think the barman forgot about our food?" Asked peter

"Yes! We need food." Remus said enthusiastically. He eyed the man who had just abandoned his plate to converse at the bar. Remus casual stretched his long arms in the air, leaned over and inconspicuously swiped half a sandwich and a hand full of chips.

"Better eat that fast" said Sirius clearly amused. Remus popped a chip in Sirius”s mouth. Peter grabbed several for himself.

"Aah" James stuck out his tongue to Remus like a baby bird. Remus obliged by sticking one up his nose. A few more hand full and the dinner plate was empty.

"Oh shit, here he comes." James said, cleaning his greasy fingers on his jeans.

"Did you blokes 'appen to see 'ow swiped my sandwich?"

"No, no sorry" replied Sirius. The man smelled familia. His breath stank of burning underpants. Remus shook his head trying to hide his full mouth.

"My name's Mundungus" the man said, holding out a hand as clean as his name. "but you can call me Dung" Remus giggle uncontrollable into Sirius's shoulder. 

"Sorry" Sirius said, wrapping an arm around Remus.

"No problem love, I've ‘eard them all" Dung said leaning on the table. "I don't s'pose you all would be interested in some wares tonight?"

"Sorry? Some what?" James asked

"Some wares, you know . . .some. . Er. . 'ard to find goods"

"Oh yes" said Remus seriously. Raising his head to reply. Sirius stared at the Prefect in alarm. 

"I'm just going to ask the barman about food." declared Peter rising to his feet to escape.

“Prongs, didn’t you need some things for your next prank?” Remus encouraged.

“Yeah,” James said, caught flatfooted. “What do you have?”

As James engaged the dubious figure revealing the stores in his pockets, Sirius and Remus had a private conversation of equally questionable intergrade.

"I thought you were supposed to be the responsible one?" Sirius whispered, pulling his boyfriend closer.

"Oh no, that's you tonight." Remus responded in hushed tones.

"We're all doomed" Sirius mused in Remus’s ear.

"Guys do you think 2oz of powdered erumpent horn would be strong enough for the butterfly prank?" James interrupted

"Better make it 5oz Prongs" Remus replied with a giggle. 

“Okay, make it five then. And do you have any Wartcap Venom?”

"Five?! Your putting him on aren't you" Sirius whispered to Remus who winked. "You're blood amazing you know that?" Sirius raised his voice and said "James, I think some Pixie dust too."

"Pixy dust? Are you sure?" Asked James.

"Yeah uh 2oz" Remus reassured "They should be fine together."

"How long have we got?" Sirius Whispered to Remus

"Seconds, better leg it" Remus Replied

"I don't know about that mate" said dug stepping back.

BANG!

The resulting explosion popped their ears and filled the bar of sour patrons in orange sparkling smoke. The barman, no longer silent, was cursing at the top of his lungs.

“MUNDUNGUS YOU DIRTY SNEAK THIEF! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL HAVE YOU DONE NOW!’

James ducked to the ground as angry fists began hitting the air. He crawled, hands and knees on the sticky floor. James and Peter exited the pub covered in sparkling dust with smoke trailing behind them. Looking around for the other they spotted Sirius and Remus kissing passionately under a street lantern. 

"So are we no longer pretending you're not snogging all round the castle?" Said Peter

"You knew," said Remus, pulling back in surprise.

"It was bloody obvious, mates" Peter replied coughing up rainbow colored sparkles.

"That dust that you're covered in?" Remus asked

"Yes, glitter!" James snapped furiously "We're covered in bloody pixie glitter!" for someone who loved practical jokes he was horrible as being the target of one. James removed his glasses, cleaning the lenses with his shirt, eyebrows still sparkling like a newborn unicorn.

"So who wins the bet?" Sirius snickered Remus's arm still around his waist.

"You guys made a bet on me?" Peter asked

"I think Peter wins." proclaimed James

"Oh I don't think you'll want the prize mate." Sirius replied with a dirty grin.

"What's the prize?" Asked Peter naively 

Remus blushed. Sirius opened his mouth to reply.

"Padfoot" Remus warned.

Sirius gave out a most uncharacteristic giggle. After a moment's pause James joined in with a laughter brushing the glitter out of his messy hair. With bouncing steps he started up the lane toward Hogwarts. 

"But what's. . ." Peter floundered.

"I'll tell you when you're older, Wormtail" Sirius said as Remus pulled him by the hand down the lane towards the shrieking shack.

Peter stood puzzled in the cobblestone lane. Head turning from James to Remus and Sirius then at the cross street that lead to the Three Broomsticks.

"Peter aren't you coming?" Asked James from a distance.

"I'm going to get my bloody chips!" Peter declared marching up the cross street.


End file.
